2016 and Other Thoughts

5 years ago we packed up our 3 kids and 3 dogs and left Colorado for the East Coast. December 16 is the official first day of our epic road trip with December 19 as the anniversary of closing on our new home just outside Philadelphia. And about 18 months or so ago, we moved to the lower Hudson Valley in New York.

That’s a lot of change.

This specific span of time is always a bit emotional for me, as we literally left everyone we knew and loved for the unknown. A step well outside our comfort zone.  And like moving anywhere else, there are regional idiosyncrasies that one needs to adapt to.  It was a significant culture shock going from essentially “West Coast” vibe to East Coast vibe – from school closings for a couple inches of snow to humidity to Oh That’s Why Mold/Mildew Killing Products For Your Shower Are So Common.

I mean, I still think California is my vacation destination, not Florida.

You get to know the difference between a sub, a hoagie, a hero, and a wedge. You start to have opinions on cheesesteaks and take sides in the neighborhood shop rivalries. You know the best pretzels are in Philadelphia but you have to go to New York for a decent bagel. You are very lonely in your love of Chicago-style pizza in the land of New York pizza. You develop a love/hate relationship with your local public transit system because there’s actually a robust way to get around without a car.

And for me anyway, you also know more of your region by bike than you do by car.

2016 has been a challenge for many and I felt this year was giving 2015 a run for it’s money in terms of Which Year Can Suck More. So instead of dwelling on all the negative things that happened this year, dear reader, I’d like to share with you the absolute highs that happened.

Basically, #Community. We all need it.

January – Sold my carbon road bike to fund a new bike that would be my Swiss Army Knife. Rode bikes with my friend Kate.

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Goodbye, Electric Dream Machine

 

February – Spent two weeks in Colorado with my family (I went home to help my mom through one of her chemo treatments), hiking every single day with my sisters and nieces.

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we are family … I got all my sisters with me … 

March – Picked up my new Salsa Colossal. Titanium is sublime.

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SIA. She is titanium. (and dead sexy)

We had our first visitors (family) to our New York home. They didn’t want to spend any time in the City.

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family hike

April – We had our first friend visitor to New York. Also did not want to spend time in the City.

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Friends Since Forever (at the Croton Dam)

May – Rode the 5 Boro in a pouring rain (and temps in the mid-40s) with my son.

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on the ferry the day before the ride, when the weather was sunny and in the 60s

Rode the Quad County in Pennsylvania with my friend Ken. Also in a cold rain.

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Start your day right – with Wawa!

Went bikepacking with my friend Karen and Gail.

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Best Girls Weekend in the Woods Ever

June – Ride For Homes 4-day bike tour, benefiting Habitat for Humanity Philadelphia. #Community

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Although we’ve come … To the end of the road … Still I can’t Let Go … 

My oldest child graduated from high school.

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July – Five days with my dear Colorado friends who up and moved to Seattle a few years ago.

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the Mister and I on his first mountain biking ride

August – Kayaking on the Hudson with my middle child.

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paddling towards Bear Mountain

Moving our oldest kid to university.

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farewell picnic 

September – Another friend visit! (Same friend only the weather is nicer and there’s foliage!)

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Granite Knolls

October – Tent camping with my youngest in near-freezing temps.

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Perfection

Friends-cation in Cooperstown with Eric and Stephanie to sample local adult beverages and have a ridiculous amount of fun

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Grumpy Old Men Telling Kids To Get Off The Lawn

November – My parents come to visit in a new RV Trailer they purchased. We hike, bike, and go on a tour of the fourth largest maple syrup producer in the world.

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view from the top of Croton Dam

Oldest comes back for Thanksgiving Break. I am That Mom who is ridiculously excited about him coming home.

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cold and windy hike up Blue Mountain

December – Raced my first cyclocross race (on my mountain bike) with my friend Karen. Had a ridiculous amount of fun, did not finish last, and am now looking to buy cross tires for my Salsa so I have half a chance to move up to 4th from last (instead of 3rd).

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why yes, I do need some refreshment … 
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action shot! 
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handups are not a crime 

Looking forward to 2017 being a fresh start with new beginnings and a whole lot more adventures with my family and friends – and wishing you the same!

See you out on the road, in the woods, or maybe even out on the ‘cross course!

 

Real Talk

As I think back across this year, it’s been a stressful one. We sold our house (hooray!), moved to an apartment (eh!), found a new house (hooray!), moved again (two states away!), had to integrate quickly for end of the school year activities (eh!), and have been slowly unpacking and organizing/updating/painting the house. Whole weekends are devoted to Being A Real Adult and that’s never fun.

Oh, and there was that pesky thyroid cancer surgery and radioactive iodine over the summer too. I’m still working on getting my synthetic thyroid hormone balance. While I feel exceptionally thankful my cancer isn’t expected to reduce my life expectancy, I’m now working on finding a New Normal that includes a lot more down time than I’ve previously needed in my life.

No surprise, I’ve been struggling emotionally lately. Like on the verge of Stay In Bed All Day And Full-On Ugly-Cry While Listening to Sad Music and/or Watching Sad Movies. I blame a combination of work (mostly office politics, which isn’t my favorite thing to do), anxiety (impostor syndrome), and a general feeling that my life is very much Not In Balance.

Anyway, I’ve been looking forward to Thanksgiving break because it means a long weekend to relax AND Get Shit Done – but I was in a serious funk. Wednesday I finished up my holiday baking and in the evening my husband and I sat in our hot tub and talked. I know – First World Luxuries. But it didn’t help alleviate the sense of being completely overwhelmed, scattered, and not spending time on the things that matter most.

Thursday morning it was cloudy but in the upper-50s so I decided to head out for a road ride. I haven’t been on my road bike in a while and while it took some internal prodding to get out the door – but soon the pedals were spinning. For the first time ever, I decided to listen to music while I rode. I usually don’t because I like to be able to hear what’s going on around me – but I was on a paved rail-trail and used my Yurbuds, which allow the user to hear ambient sound while delivering high-quality audio. I really should invest in a high-quality single-earbud because riding with music was great.

At the end of my 32 mile ride, I felt a bit better but still anxious. It was nice to spend a few hours just zoned out, spinning.

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pastoral view from the trail

We had a lovely Thanksgiving dinner as a family, thanks for asking. We miss our friends all over the country and our family out West. But we are thankful to have each other, good jobs, a roof over our heads and food on the table every night.

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hello, where is my plate of delicious turkey dinner?

This morning I grabbed my mountain bike and headed over to the local park for a few hours. I am so thankful that I know about this park because it’s perfect for my level: lots of easy flowy trails but also some technical details.

I zipped around a large family enjoying a hike in the woods. I rode over a few of the smaller logs (and just walked over the larger ones). I rode over the bridge across the Parkway and continued on. I fell off a stone wall. I kept going.

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I was the only one on the trails. I stopped frequently to check the paper map I had downloaded of the trails. I stuck to loopy trails that connected easily. I powered up hills and bounced down rocky descents. I felt good.

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perfect day
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all to myself

I found a trail that ended up being a lot more technical than I expected – and I didn’t wreck. I felt like a million dollars.

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this is right before I took a trail that was full of boulders

I took a wrong turn; I doubled back until I found multiple trail blazes. I started experimenting with speed and not shockingly, momentum is your friend when you are mountain biking. I headed back to the gentler park and crushed every trail that I crashed on a few weeks back. I even took a few new trails and had to walk in a few places – but I felt amazing. I got home and took my dog on a walk.

This is exactly what I needed in my life right now. And I still have two more days to Get Shit Done: like laundry and cleaning the house and taking my car in for maintenance.

I need to figure out how to get more of this in my life on the regular.

Life if too short not to see you on the road (or the trails).

My Experience with RAI (I-131) Therapy

This post will probably be most beneficial to someone who’s recently been told they need radioactive iodine (RAI or I-131) therapy. It’s pretty dry but hopefully someone will take comfort that the process isn’t as scary as it feels.

 

The internet is riddled with horror stories (vomiting for days! disappearing taste!) and simple two-liners (“Isolation not that big of a deal! It goes quickly!”) – so it’s hard to get a sense of exactly what to expect. So I thought I’d chronicle my experience, which is probably pretty average, and hope it helps someone else who is frantically Googling what to expect and how long they have to remain isolated.

(There’s about 62,450 people diagnosed with thyroid cancer each year. Not everyone is prescribed RAI therapy and it seems like every doctor has their own method for how to approach the process as well as how long you need to remain isolated and to what degree. What I mention below is what my nuclear medicine department at the local hospital sent me home with – by all means, please follow your own doctor’s orders!)

The process itself is very straight-forward: you will receive 2 injections of Thyrogen (unless you have a reason to need to go off your thyroid hormone replacement meds for 2-4 weeks and deal with severe hypothyroidism) in the two days before receiving your RAI therapy dose. If you are a female, you will need a blood test on the first day of Thyrogen to confirm you are not pregnant. Thyrogen has its own set of potential side effects, the most common being nausea and headaches. I was fortunate enough to have a supportive work environment and was able to work from home on the two Thyrogen days. I have a 90min commute between work and home and didn’t want to have to deal with possibly trying to get home with nausea on an hour-long train ride. Fortunately I did not experience any significant side effects although I noted I was a bit on the tired side.

The day of RAI treatment I had to get another blood test to confirm my severe hypothyroid levels (this is due to the Thyrogen injections) right before heading to the nuclear medicine department at the hospital. My hospital is one that allows you to convalesce at home (i.e., it does not admit you overnight).

I had to sign a bunch of paperwork. The nurse took me back and gave me everything I would need post-therapy, including validating my parking (how nice). This included specific written instructions for isolation, a Personal Disposal Kit (i.e., a kitchen trash bag), and a card for my wallet that confirms my I-131 therapy and that I am not a radiation hazard to the public.

Another nurse came in to talk to me about isolation – the biggest being Time and Distance. The first 3 days are the biggest concern because the radiation is literally emanating from you, not just being eliminated. He answered all of my questions and then took me back to the doctor who would administer the treatment.

My doctor had a Geiger counter on the table next to us; the pill was in a lead-lined cylinder. He explained the therapy to me again as he put on hospital gloves and used a pair of thongs to remove the pill from the cylinder. He gave it to me with a cup of water. My dose was a grey pill about the size of any other average prescription capsule. The doctor advised me to not eat anything spicy or that would upset my stomach for the next few hours to allow the I-131 to absorb into my body. He had me walk to the door of the room and back to show the amount of distance I needed to keep between myself and others for the first several days – and then sent me on my way.

In the few days before doing all this, I recommend doing the following:

* securing a beach house or lake house or other accommodations that have a private kitchen and bathroom. Convalesce in style!

* If you are like me and don’t have any of those available to you, kick your SO out of the master bedroom with attached bathroom and make it your Isolation Suite. Wash and clean everything before undergoing therapy. Yes you’ll have to rewash and clean everything again – but no one likes to wallow in filth.

* Stock up on foods you like, ginger ale (with real ginger), saltines and lemon hard candies. These help you feel moderately better and you’ll actually want to eat them. You may get nauseated for the first 3 days or so – the ginger ale and saltines will help you not feel totally wrecked and you can get some extra sleep. The hard candies are to keep your saliva production up to minimize the sore/swollen salivary glands that may happen. I chose sugar snap peas for my snack and they were super delicious! I also asked for water ice, which was also delicious.

* Find a way to keep your pet at bay. Buy a baby gate if you have to. My dog couldn’t understand why I couldn’t let him kiss me or snuggle up on my lap or sleep with me at night. It was horribly sad.

* Have young kids? Send them to Grandma’s for the week. Have older kids? Get them to make you meals and keep the dog happy. My teens were the best at making me food and leaving it at my door. They kept the dog happy. And in return they got a week of unencumbered video game time because Mom Can’t Do Anything About It.

* Cover your electronics for the first 5 days or so. A plastic sandwich bag over your smartphone is fine. You can get a keyboard cover relatively inexpensively online. Staying in touch with people through the internet or texting is a great way to keep your mind off the fact that you can’t be around anyone.

* Keep the door to your room open and the blinds drawn back if possible. This allows you to feel like you are still incorporated in family life – just make sure everyone is aware of the safety limitations.

My dose was 150 millicurries. I was told I would need to enact radiation safety protocol for 10 days – but the most stringent portions were lifted within about 3-7 days. Keep in mind radioiodine will exit the body through fluids (urine, stool, perspiration, and saliva) – water dilutes the radiation.

For the first 3-5 days and nights:

* sleep completely separate from any other family member.

* have sole use of a bathroom – toilet, shower, sink. Don’t share towels.

* keep as great a distance as possible from others, minimum of 9′ (first 3 days) to 3′ (days 4-7). No hugs, kisses, snuggles, or sex.

* do not travel by plane or mass transit and do not take prolonged car trips.

* drink a minimum of 64oz of fluids each day to encourage unabsorbed radioiodine to leave your system as quickly as possible. Pee a lot.

* use a laxative or eat high-fiber foods to encourage your digestive tract to keep things moving along and minimize any GI issues.

* Use regular plates and utensils. Wash them separately in the dishwasher (2 cycles) to reduce the chance of contaminating the rest of your family for the first 3-5 days.

For the full 10 days and nights:

* Flush the toilet 2 or 3 times after use. If you’re a dude, you have to sit to pee to avoid splashback. If you do splash, wet a tissue to clean it up and then flush the tissue.

* Wash your hands with plenty of soap and water.

* Rinse the sink, shower, and tub with plenty of water to reduce the chance of others becoming contaminated that is being excreted through your bodily fluids.

* Do not exercise for the first 7 days. Radioiodine is excreted in your sweat, which means lots of stuff would be contaminated.

* Do not have any lab tests done unless it’s an emergency through Day 7, in which case have someone call the Radiation Safety Officer at the hospital. Your blood may contain radioactive material!

* Avoid prolonged contact with pregnant women, babies and children. Their thyroids are more susceptible than adults.

* Put all of your trash into the Personal Disposal Kit. You will need to hold onto this bag in your garage until the safe disposal date, which is 75 days after your treatment dose. Write that date on the bag so you don’t accidentally toss it too soon and contaminate the garbage trucks and landfill. Eat an apple? Core goes in the PDK bag.

* wash your towels, sheets, and clothing separately and run the washer on a rinse cycle twice after the final load to minimize any potential contamination.

 

On Day 10 you will most likely get a whole body scan to see where the radioiodine was absorbed. This is a baseline to see where the potential stray thyroid cells are located. The idea is that over time the radioiodine will destroy these cells and reduce the chance of cancer recurring. It also helps to see if there is any metastatic cancer.  This is basically the beginning of a lifelong monitoring of the cancer to ensure if it comes back we can act quickly. The downside is the slight increase in secondary cancers from this treatment. Something we always have to be mindful of and enjoy the time we have and treat anything that comes up as it does.

 

I’m only on Day 7 right now and looking forward to finishing out my isolation time very soon. I miss being with my family and yelling that I love them from my room as they get ready to go to bed or leave for work is kinda sad. I ate my meals in my room for the first 5 days, which is also weird and sad. But necessary! I’d rather be alone and sad for a week than put any of my children or husband or pets at risk.

I tentatively booked a bike ride for this weekend, which I am so looking forward to. Provided the weather cooperates – see you on the road!

Edit to add: My experience included mild nausea and sleepiness for the first 3-4 days. I slept around 14 hours a day! My salivary glands at the back of my jaw became tender on Day 2 so I used hard candy to keep saliva production going and gentle massage of the area. My taste has altered slightly, as things don’t taste as fully flavorful right now. My understanding is this is temporary for the next several weeks and should return. Around Day 5 I started to feel more normal and now at Day 7 I feel mostly like myself again.

C is for Cycling … and also for Cancer

The last 10 days or so have been a doozy.

My thyroidectomy went well. After the procedure, I was in Recovery for about 6 hours – much longer than anyone else who was in the surgical unit for other procedures so I watched a lot of people come and go. A few others in Recovery weren’t pleased to see my incision and requested things to block their view of me during their recovery time. Because yeah, it did kinda look like some rando had slashed my throat and the docs had slapped surgical tape over it.

An inch or so isn’t a lot until you see it on your neck. The neck doesn’t have a lot of real estate, so it looks much bigger than you expect.

going home after surgery
going home after surgery

This past Monday was pathology results day – and when I found out that I actually had thyroid cancer.

The brain kindof freezes when you hear the C word. Of course it does. The thoughts in your brain swirl around chemo, hair loss, nausea, fatigue, the epic battle for your body and will to live. Which is why I was so thankful to hear:

“The important take-away from this conversation is that you will live a long and healthy life.”

running errands with my husband, 5 days post-op
running errands with my husband, 5 days post-op

Fun Facts:

Thyroid cancer is the ninth most common cancer in the US, with the number of cases rising each year. No one is completely sure why there is an increase in cases (better technology to identify the cancer early may be a contributing factor) but the death rate has remained low – virtually unchanged since 2002.

Risk factors include:

  • being female
  • a diet low in iodine (rare in the US)
  • exposure to radiation (radiation was used widely before the 1960s for an array of ailments; nuclear accidents; etc)
  • hereditary/genetic
  • family history (Having a first-degree relative (parent, brother, sister, or child) with thyroid cancer, even without a known inherited syndrome in the family, increases your risk)

There are four main types of thyroid cancer:

  • Papillary, which accounts for 70-80% of all thyroid cancers
  • Follicular/Hurthle cell, which accounts for 10-15% of thyroid cancers
  • Medullary, which accounts for 5-10% and is usually hereditary
  • Anaplastic, which accounts for less than 2% and is the most aggressive and unfortunately deadliest

Treatment for thyroid cancer includes surgery (got that out of the way!), radioactive iodine, external beam radiation, and chemotherapy. Most thyroid cancers are cured with surgery and radioactive iodine. Thyroid cancer is actually pretty great for targeted treatment such as radioactive iodine because no other cells in the body soak up iodine like the thyroid does – so the thyroid cells are killed while the rest of the body remains healthy. (pretty neat, right?)

The 5 year survival rate for anyone diagnosed with thyroid cancer today is 97% – and the 10 year survival rate for those who are younger than 45 and the cancer is localized (has not spread to other parts of the body) is 100%.

9 days post-op and got in a gentle 16 mile bike ride. it felt amazing!
9 days post-op and got in a gentle 16 mile bike ride. it felt amazing!

The good news is that I am young (under 45), relatively healthy (outside of this bump in the road), and the cancer was localized (according to my surgeon). I have my post-op follow-up in a few weeks with my surgeon and then a conversation with my new endocrinologist a few days later to discuss the appropriate next steps. I’ve started writing a list of questions for him because I tend to forget to ask while I’m at the appointment.

If I’m being totally honest, I was a bit numb after hearing my thyroid pathology came back as cancer. I immediately latched onto the positive points and rehashed those as my narrative publicly. I received a tsunami of support and messages of love from my friends and family while I tried feabily to pass it off as Not A Big Deal. The next morning though I started doing my research and started to panic. OMG this is serious, but thankfully not deadly so. I don’t even know which kind I have/had. Radioactive iodine requires an isolation period. How is that going to work? And there’s a million follow-ups while they get the dosage of levothyroxine correct plus following up to make sure the radioactive iodine worked …. what about work? We’re already swamped – I can’t be taking off time for all this!

I had to put down the internet and go busy myself with what’s really important: my family, my friends, and living life. Work is important too – I’m the primary financial contributor to our family – but I can’t work if I’m not healthy. I am incredibly thankful for the support my boss and company have given me.

Yesterday I went out for a bike ride and made some determinations:

  • Yes I have/had cancer.
  • No it doesn’t define me.
  • But it’s OK to feel like it’s a big deal – because it is. It’s a part of my life story now.

I can ask questions at my next two appointments to get more clarity on what I had and what we can do next.

I will always need to be on top of my medication and communicate with my doctors.

I will live a long and healthy life – and look forward to rebuilding my base miles and bicycling strength soon.

See you on the road!

Internet Reference Sites (in case you want to learn more!):

ThyCa: Thyroid Cancer Survivor’s Association

EndocrineWeb

American Thyroid Association

National Cancer Institute

Endocrine Diseases

American Cancer Society

Let’s play catch-up, shall we dear reader? When we last left off we were on the cusp of spring … and now we are hurtling straight into summer.

from my train ride home one evening. moment of zen
from my train ride home one evening. moment of zen

Personal Transition

We finally made the move and are now in our new home. We closed on the house just a few days after the one-year mark of when I committed to relocating with my job. After such a long and protracted transition, the entire family has settled into our new life fairly quickly. Uncertainty can take a toll on a person and strain any relationship – and we managed to pull through with relatively few emotional wounds. The house is in a lovely neighborhood about 40 miles north of the Big Apple with lots of kids. It’s not uncommon for me to get home in the evening to find my younger two kids out roaming the neighborhood with their new friends, playing until well after dark and coming home sweaty and dirty and more importantly, happy. +1 for our little family!

welcome to my backyard
welcome to my backyard

Bikey Stuff!

Having the extra time in Philly was also very nice. I was able to squeak out a few really nice rides with my friends, including an 88-mi, 5400+’ of gain ride to get lunch in St Peter’s Village that I had no business doing – but felt amazing when I finished! I haven’t felt depleted after a long, hilly ride like that in a while and it felt GREAT.  I planned to do a low-key girls-only ride to get lunch (25mi ride) but wound up with bronchitis and had to cancel all my plans for a few weekends. Then we moved ….

Andy and Ken joined me on the 88mi epic. Perfect day for a ride!
Andy and Ken joined me on the 88mi epic. Perfect day for a ride!

I rode the 5 Boro Tour again this year, this time with my friend Elizabeth. We were slotted in the first wave and what a difference that made! Yes there were still a lot of people but it was FUN. We rode the whole route together, which was surreal when I’d point out a place where the 4-lane street had been literally wall-to-wall cyclists standing around the year prior due to various levels of bicyclists trying to ride together. This year demonstrated why people do this ride year after year. I’m hoping to take my eldest son on it next year.

Elizabeth and I at the start of the 5 Boro Tour.
Elizabeth and I at the start of the 5 Boro Tour.

Up in our new area I’ve been scoping a bike route to the train station (about 12.5 miles each way; about 600′ gain to the station, 900+’ gain on the way home). I’ve seen cyclists on the roads so I know it’s possible (and Strava Global Heat Maps confirms it’s a decent route) but a few concerns that I need to work through:

1. Lots of two-lane no-shoulder roads. I’ve not been successful yet in finding alternate back-roads to use – very few roads actually connect. The roads are not terribly heavily trafficked – but there is some volume, especially at certain times. And there are a few dangerous intersections that would require I get a mirror for my glasses so I could safely navigate.

2. After about 45-60min on the bike, I have a 60 min train ride to the city. Do I feel comfortable being stinky on a train for an hour?

2a. The train station has bike lockers but refuses to rent them out. ??? So my bike would be locked to an open-air public rack. I’ve seen a few other bikes there in the morning so I know people bike to the station … but probably not as far as I’m thinking of doing.

3. Shower Situation when I get to the City. NYSC has $20 memberships and a club a few blocks from GCT; or I could check out the gym at work.

Really all just logistics – and while I am chomping at the bit to actually ride to the train station and back home, I need to work these things out before I do so. Arrive Alive!

There is a major bike path (36 miles!) with an access point fairly close to our home (a couple miles) that I can’t wait to ride and take my kids. It’s an old railroad bed so it’s fairly flat and shaded. A welcome respite from New York drivers!

Health News

I noticed a lump in my neck a few months back. I had been blowing off the feeling of swallowing behind something for a while, thinking it was a mild cold or allergies or something else. After several rounds of testing and various procedures, it turns out I have a multinodal goiter. Due to the size and number of nodules (and that it impacts my ability to swallow), I’m having a thyroidectomy in about a week. I’ve been advised to take 2 weeks to recover and at least 1 week with no exercise. So the plan is to get past surgery and recovery before throwing my leg over the top tube and getting back into the swing of things.

This past week I contracted a cold that rapidly turned into a sinus infection so I’m taking the surgical recovery period very seriously. My body is telling me I’ve been overdoing it – even though I feel like I haven’t done anything – and I need to listen if I’m going to be able to get back into running and cycling again. I have a few events planned for later in the summer that I need to begin training for – but that will wait! Even though I desperately want to just ride my bike.

Looking forward to seeing you on the road soon!

In the meantime …

so much has happened (and not happened) in the last month or so. 

Today my oldest and I parked along the local paved trail and rode into the city to attend a Kidical Mass ride. It’s like Critical Mass – only not angry and with little kids. It was a relatively small group today due to the overcast skies but what an amazing bunch of families! Cargo bikes galore! Little dudes on their two-wheelers, yelling out “HOLE, DADDY! HOLE!” as we glided down the buffered bike lane across the city. I think we averaged 4 miles per hour and it was so satisfying to ride with other pro-bike families. The women who organize the rides are super-women and I felt honored to be able to ride with them. 

Check out more of their stuff at Give Mom A Bike Lane.

I have been biking more with my kids, which has been really great. There’s no pressure to perform (not that there is with my friends anyway) – just spending time with them. It does tend to bring out the Mama Bear in me and I probably spend too much time verbally guiding them about things they should be aware of (pedestrians, potholes, cars going straight, cars turning right, cars in the bike lane) … but I hope when they leave home they will be better bicyclists around town. It was fun to challenge him to get to the speed to which the lights are timed (20 mph) so we could glide through every light … we got stopped a few times but I think he enjoyed the experience!

riding with my older two kids
riding with my older two kids

In other news:

Our buyers walked away so we’re still trying to sell the house in PA. Hard to think a beautiful house in a great location with good schools and in good condition would be difficult to sell but this has been the most difficult home-sale experience I’ve ever had. We’ve been *thisclose* to getting another buyer so many times we’re starting to get numb. 

I gave up on trying to bike commute. The stress has been overwhelming so I have been biking to the train station and back and going out on longer rides on the weekends. Somehow I’m within a few hundred miles of where I was this time of year last year. And somehow, getting to 3,000 miles for the year seems like it would take an eternity to get there. 

And … I’ve been struggling with anxiety and depression lately. I know this because many days I don’t even want to ride my bike – which is very strange to admit. I love riding my bike – but until I’m actually pedaling, my brain is just not interested. It’s become a struggle that shouldn’t be. My GI symptoms from last summer also came back in full force a few weeks ago. The doc I saw prescribed a low-dose anti-depressant in addition to my usual PPI meds. It’s helped tremendously to file just enough of the edge off to be able to think clearly and rationally. I still find myself getting worked up occasionally but now I can understand it’s not personal and I can usually calm my inner voices to bring myself back to a place of homeostasis.

I’m thankful the doctor saw beyond my symptoms and heard the franticness in my voice, assuring me that “it’s not all in [my] head” but to “try this in addition.” 

They say two of the most stressful things you can experience is buying and selling a home. We certainly are living this. 

Anyway – I’m still out riding bikes, just not as much. But hopefully I’ll see you on the road soon. xoxo 

Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes

I’m not gone! Bicycling has taken a back seat lately, not my choice. The weather’s been great. My bike lock is back on the rack at work, patiently waiting for me to show up and use it. I have a policy of not riding my bike all the way to work when my husband is away on business so I can see the kids off in the morning and make sure the house is locked up and stuff. He’s been on a traveling jag since late March so I’ve been making do with biking to the train station down the street.

For this year’s 30 Days of Biking, I have only missed three days – all this past weekend. But the rides are really short and nothing to write home about. Except maybe the scent of dogwood and honeysuckle that fills my nostrils, the lack of humidity that keeps even sufferfests manageable, and the gloriousness that is riding in just shorts and a jersey. Spring is here at last and it feels amazing.

 

About a month ago my company announced they are relocating to New York City. I was fortunate to be offered to relocate along with the job. You may recall we did this a couple years ago, moving from Colorado to Pennsylvania, for my job. It was a very difficult decision, one that involved a lot of thought, research, and weighing the pros and cons. We recently decided to move with the job – so now my weekends are filled with de-cluttering, patching, painting, and minor repairs as we get the house ready for market.

Fingers crossed for a quick sale where we realize a profit.

But I won’t lie – I miss riding my bike on long rides. Heading out too early on a Saturday morning with nothing but a plan to ride bikes with friends many miles away for a meal. The short ride to the train is like a teaser. Come out and play! Have fun with us! Just need to be patient – right now non-bikey things have to take priority.

And really, once we find our new community, I will need to look up a new bike club. And possibly get a bike share membership to cover “the last mile” of my new commute. And once the house is up on the market or at the latest when it’s under contract, I can head out with impunity until we move.

So you know – keep the rubber side down and see you on the road.