For the third time in a week, I have ignored my 5:30am alarm.
For the third time in a week, I have chosen sleep over bike commuting.
How far I’ve fallen from just a few weeks ago.
This summer has been tough for getting good ride time for me. Lots has been going on outside my world of cycling. Somehow I get it in my head that everyone else in the world is out every day. Everyone else is also better, faster, cooler, and more dedicated than me. I try to keep up with the false notions my brain feeds me. I feel like I should be pushing through … but for what? I’m not training for anything other than to keep up with the Jones’.
The difference from two weeks ago is family. They are paramount and when they were otherwise occupied, it was easy to get up early and ride. I only had to be concerned for myself. Now I am trying to make sure summer homework is getting done and we squeeze the last bits of freedom out of summer. My in-laws are coming for the weekend and we still need to clean the house. And my stomach issues are still there (better but I’m aware) – and the GI doc is on the calendar for just after Labor Day.
And there’s the stuff I want to do but just haven’t found a way yet: mountain biking; hiking; camping. I’m so frustrated with not being able to do everything I want to do. Not like this is a surprise or anything – I always feel like I should do MORE.
So I’ve decided to let it go for now. Let go of the ridiculousness that is trying to keep up with everything. Go on fun rides with friends on the weekends if It works out. Tinker with bike commuting later in the morning (even though it means riding without the benefit of my awesome bike commuting friends). Get my plans together for my daughter’s Girl scout troop. Sleep in and relax more. Go bowling. Go out-of-town with the family.
Find balance in my life again.
I’ll leave you with my most favorite event photo ever. It was taken by Sundance Images in Castle Rock, Colorado. I love this photo so much I ordered it as the cheesy “magazine cover” (Rad & Bad bikes anyone?) because it has that “cover girl” look. I even ordered a second copy for my mom. It reminds me of why I ride – the wind in your face, the scenery, the pavement zipping by. It’s a picture of happiness and ease … you’d never know I was churning up a decent hill.
See you on the road!
wife. mother. awesome girl. 
I hit the ‘Like’ button for a few reasons …
1) To show support to you 🙂
2) Because of the uber cool Cover Girl Bike photo … totally bad ass.
3) This one is the MOST important – because you said, “Find balance in my life again.
Ahhh, you have been doing A LOT this summer. I understanding having a goal about biking, and seeming to not get to it. But … when all is said and done, and someone asks, “what did you do on your summer vacation?” … you will have great memories to choose from.
And besides … we can ride in the winter *grins*
*HIGH-5’s* you just because you rock with or without a bike.
Aw thanks Kate! Often times I put so much pressure on myself to be The Best At Everything that I forget to just take a step back and realize I’m doing a lot.
xoxo to you!
The pursuit of balance … much more important than mileage (in my humble opinion). And don’t let that iron man of a commuting buddy give you any grief. If he does, let me know. I know where to find him 🙂
Your awesome remains!
Uh, that’s: “Your awesomeness remains.”
Oy.
Aw, thanks for the vote of confidence. There’s been no external pressure or guilt – just my own head feeding me lies. I’ve been striving against my nature (which is, not getting up early) and have gotten to the point where I just don’t want to … even though I know I will love the reward of getting out on my bike. That’s a sign to take a big step back and evaluate what I’m doing.
And knowing when to pause and take inventory is huge. I need to find balance and it needs to be organic to my life. Once I discovered I’m the only one who doesn’t already have to get up that early for work, everything became a lot clearer.